They will sometimes act out or get angry because you can't guess what they need. Unfortunately, when an anxious attacher feels threatened, they tend to have a hard time expressing what's bothering them. They'll be very concerned about what you're doing when you're not together. If you have to work late or spend a weekend without them, they may feel rejected.

The anxious attacher’s sensitivity to the relationship can be a huge asset, or it can lead to unnecessary drama. For example, an anxious attacher may ask a lot of questions about your past relationships to see how they measure up. They're preoccupied with making the relationship work, so at times they may seem overly focused on you. How to Recognize an Anxious PartnerĪ person with an anxious attachment style has a compelling desire to achieve closeness with a romantic partner and is highly tuned in to any perceived threat to that closeness. They enjoy being your secure base and making it easier for you to face the perils of the outside world. They’re concerned about your well-being and are almost always willing to work out disagreements in a fair, compromising way. If you're in a relationship with a secure attacher, you're in an emotionally safe place. They express their feelings for you openly and often-for example, it's easy for them to say 'I love you.' They aren't afraid to discuss emotional issues or 'touchy' relationship issues. They tell you if something is bothering them. They’re also excellent communicators and know how to ask for what they want. They open up their lives to you and typically introduce you to their family and friends relatively early in the relationship. They discuss plans with you and don't make decisions until they get your input. Secure attachers are consistent and reliable-they show up on time, they phone when they say they're going to phone, and they keep promises.

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